hANNAbONE
...Patiently Waited...
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COUPLA PEANUTS WALK INTO A BAR...
ONE WAS ASSAULTED.
ONE WAS ASSAULTED.
humor --
- Thread starter hANNAbONE
- Start date
.................boooooooooo, booooooo I say.
hANNAbONE
...Patiently Waited...
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boy - howdy...I guess it IS a tough crowd..! ;D
hANNAbONE
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Re: humor -- deux
It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked
their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old
secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going
to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was
indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect
firewood to be prepared.
But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to
the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming
winter going to be cold?'
'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the
weather service responded.
So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more
firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it still look
like it is going to be a very cold winter?'
'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a
very cold winter.'
The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap
of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you
absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'
'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to
be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'
'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.
The weatherman replied, 'All the Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood'
It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked
their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old
secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going
to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was
indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect
firewood to be prepared.
But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to
the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming
winter going to be cold?'
'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the
weather service responded.
So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more
firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it still look
like it is going to be a very cold winter?'
'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a
very cold winter.'
The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap
of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you
absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'
'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to
be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'
'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.
The weatherman replied, 'All the Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood'
ROTFLMAO hANNAbONE. Gots to watch those little indians.
A horse walks into bar.hANNAbONE said:COUPLA PEANUTS WALK INTO A BAR...
ONE WAS ASSAULTED.
The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
Thank You! The 9:30 show is completely different than the 7:30 show. Please remember to tip your waitresses.
• A police officer pulled over two nuns riding on a motorcycle, and said to the rider, 'Ma'am, you're driving much too slowly, could you please drive faster?"
• And the nun says, 'Oh, I saw the sign with the "21" and assumed the speed limit was 21 km/h"
• The officer explains: 'No ma'am, the speed limit is 80. The highway number is Interstate 21."
• Then the police officer look at the passenger and see the other nun shaking like a leaf.
• "Excuse me sister, but what's wrong with your passenger?"
• "Oh, that's probably because we just got off Highway 205."
• And the nun says, 'Oh, I saw the sign with the "21" and assumed the speed limit was 21 km/h"
• The officer explains: 'No ma'am, the speed limit is 80. The highway number is Interstate 21."
• Then the police officer look at the passenger and see the other nun shaking like a leaf.
• "Excuse me sister, but what's wrong with your passenger?"
• "Oh, that's probably because we just got off Highway 205."
Kevhunts
"For every one you see, you probably missed three"
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One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
Kevhunts
"For every one you see, you probably missed three"
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I came home from the golf course today...
The wife had left a note on the refrigerator...
"IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay with my mother."
I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold...
What the f*** is she talking about?
The wife had left a note on the refrigerator...
"IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay with my mother."
I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold...
What the f*** is she talking about?
Kevhunts
"For every one you see, you probably missed three"
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ON FRIDAYS, I FISH!!!!
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."
Haha, never seen this thread. These are great!
rem
A man who don't lie, ain't got nothin' to say.
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hANNAbONE said:COUPLA PEANUTS WALK INTO A BAR...
ONE WAS ASSAULTED.
If one of the peanuts was carrying an external power source, would that be assault and battery ???
Come on, gimme a break. It's early here, and I'm old. Just had a birthday Friday. Send money in lieu of gifts. Let's be careful out there. R. ::020::
Wanderer
New Member
Howdy,
What do you call an Italian on the side of the road taking a leak? A Euro peeing! ::015::
Later,
Norm
What do you call an Italian on the side of the road taking a leak? A Euro peeing! ::015::
Later,
Norm
I see what you did there! ::025::Wanderer said:
scott123007
Well-Known Member
Baldrick said:
hANNAbONE said:COUPLA PEANUTS WALK INTO A BAR...
ONE WAS ASSAULTED.
A Giraffe walks into a bar...
says the Highballs are on me folks.
booner223
New Member
Three guys walk into a bar, the fourth one ducks. HI OH.
Makes me laugh every time.
Makes me laugh every time.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow....MOOOO!!!!!
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow....MOOOO!!!!!
Newbie81
New Member
One Gay sperm says to another "how we supposed to find an egg in this shit?" ???