I gotta tell you guys, I did not see this coming.
I thought twice (more actually) before giving into arjayes query, and I tried to get out of it frankly. But I reread his op about 5 times and it was impossible for me. It was an incredibly unselfish, even gentle, invitation.
But my goodness, I'm the one with no words now. (well, actually, that can't be true. It's me. sorry)
I don't think I can explain adequately what the words here mean to me.
And I should let yaw know that it has spawned the most amazing Personal Messages.
If they were actually read aloud in my living room amongst my children and family, there wouldn't be a dry eye.
So can this be my response of gratitude to all of you?
Yaw can't possibly know completely what y'all have done for me.
The part you can imagine is where I was on Easter Sunday. And yes, I was broken. I often describe it as I couldn't breathe.
But the process starts immediately, you must survive. After all, you have to breathe. So you start there.
During those first few months, all the things that happen to a blessed man, happened to me. I was surrounded by people who were devastated as well, but as a family, we breathed together. And some of the pieces start to be put back together.
Fast forward. Five months have passed. Enough of those pieces are put back together to make up a man, albeit wounded, who is finally willing to make an effort to "get back out there". So I put together, what is typical for me, a very unstructured adventure. No start time, no route, but with a possibility of making it to Arkansas a month later. MAYBE.
Because Arkansas, and thus motorcycles, was a potential, I did have to include taking my Tenere on my jaunt-of-solitude. Keep in mind I had not touched anything motorcycle related since 4:15PM Easter Sunday. (Brenda had died in my arms on the side of the road. Her scooter laying upside down against a barbed wire fence) But I needed to know, eventually, if my 45 years of passion for riding was over. So, I took it with me. On a trailer mind you. I was not ready. (That is where the truck pulling the trailer on a trailer came from. Only way I could think of having the Tenere with me just-in-case)
I set off. Spent a few days here and a few days there camping in my little Tear Drop Best Western on Wheels. Often unloading the Tenere and setting up camp. But not even sitting on it before reloading it and moving on.
Decision time arrived. I'm outside of Tallhassee in a KOA just chilling. But if I AM going to the Arkansas Rally, I gotta head West. I wrestled with it big time. How do I explain that I yearned to get back on it and yet it was the LAST thing I wanted to do, simultaneously?
I decided to at least head that way, but allowing myself ample time to change my mind and devert. Don't commit!
Well, I arrived at "The Hub" and I was the only Super Tenere. The place was pretty packed, but was almost all Harley and Gold Wings. I set up camp in an out-of-the-way area. My attempt to delay personal contact with motorcycle riders was completely flawed though. First, I looked like a Hillbilly with my trailer-on-trailer. And once I set up my canopy over the whole rig, it turned into a defacto-CheckIN booth for The Hub. Hilarious actually. No hiding that I was there.
And then it began..............(what this thread has actually continued)
You guys started showing up. None of you had any idea. You couldn't have. You hadn't seen nor heard a peep out of me in half a year either.
But you gotta see what happened from MY perspective. Finally people who knew me but DIDN'T know, therefore their responses were genuine and unpackaged. It had been a long time since somebody was genuinely pleased to see me, without any kind of measured response. I had no clue that I needed exactly that! And as a result, within just a few hours, my whole anxiety dissipated. It was a gift you all didn't even know you were giving. And a bonus.....My bike looked appealing and appropriate!
I DON'T have to tell you all how much fun I had the next few days and nights. It was the strangest feeling to have FUN.
But it was even more amazing to have my guard down and go back to being my goofy and vulnerable self.
More of the broken pieces got added back to me. A lot of unknowns about my future got answered. This Super Tenere brotherhood that I was so fond of, was allowed to be part of what's left. You fellas that let me share my story then, have no idea how much you were helping me. Thank You again.
And this thread................
More pieces. I'm getting back part of myself that I was living without. Hard to explain, you just gotta believe me.
The public words and private words here are worth more than you can possibly know. Again, you just gotta believe me.
Thank you.
I'm more now. And it's really good to be more.
Now, can we please KILL this thread!!!
It's a motorcycle forum, for crying out loud.
Let's go to Big Bend, West Virginia, Alaska,......anywhere. Let's ride!
