Colloquialisms - - Ultimate List

[Terminus]

So something Dogdaze recently said in a forum peaked my interest. He used a colloquialism phrase for someone not being very smart. His was "a few sandwiches short of a picnic". I had never heard that one before and thought it would be an entertaining topic to see what sayings you all use.

Here are a couple of examples: Not the sharpest tool in the shed or not the brightest bulb.

What sayings have your heard? (please keep it PC!) ::015::

 

[Checkswrecks]

Apology to Terminus, as I changed the thread title slightly.


I talk in slang a lot, as do most Americans, and it has gotten me in trouble, especially when working overseas. Talking about one of the guys working for me in Asia who'd really screwed up, I didn't think and said "That person could f* up a two car funeral" while near enough for my host to hear me. He stared and was clearly not happy. I apologized right away for the rude remark that he wasn't supposed to hear, because I know that humor is lost in translation and his religion does not condone insults and would NEVER make a joke about funerals, especially while we were working on something where people died. oops!
:
Another time I did a dumb one unintentionally which relates to how Terminus started this thread. A couple of folks were arguing on ADV and I posted an old meme that no matter who wins in the special olympics, they are still .....
Turns out one of the guys has a challenged (autistic as I recall) daughter and flagged my post to the mods. That one got me the week of "Banned Camp" which Snakebitten keeps teasing about.


More recently, we've taken up The Potomac Center http://www.potomaccenter.com as our charity recipient for the Romney Camp-N-Ride, where we get to interact with the kids and young adults. He's not the type to EVER complain but I personally know at least one forum member who has a very challenged kid and after being with the Potomac Center folks a number of times now, I can't imagine being a parent.


What I'm getting to is that while we'd all love to learn some new colloquialisms and I want to encourage the fun, please use some discretion for the members who might be hurt. You're a great group and no doubt will understand.

 

[Nikolajsen]

A Danish one, directly translatet, and maybe the meaning will get lost..
"It's not the brain that presses him flatfoot"

 

[Terminus]

Apology to Terminus, as I changed the thread title slightly.


I talk in slang a lot, as do most Americans, and it has gotten me in trouble, especially when working overseas. Talking about one of the guys working for me in Asia who'd really screwed up, I didn't think and said "That person could f* up a two car funeral" while near enough for my host to hear me. He stared and was clearly not happy. I apologized right away for the rude remark that he wasn't supposed to hear, because I know that humor is lost in translation and his religion does not condone insults and would NEVER make a joke about funerals, especially while we were working on something where people died. oops!
:
Another time I did a dumb one unintentionally which relates to how Terminus started this thread. A couple of folks were arguing on ADV and I posted an old meme that no matter who wins in the special olympics, they are still .....
Turns out one of the guys has a challenged (autistic as I recall) daughter and flagged my post to the mods. That one got me the week of "Banned Camp" which Snakebitten keeps teasing about.


More recently, we've taken up The Potomac Center http://www.potomaccenter.com as our charity recipient for the Romney Camp-N-Ride, where we get to interact with the kids and young adults. He's not the type to EVER complain but I personally know at least one forum member who has a very challenged kid and after being with the Potomac Center folks a number of times now, I can't imagine being a parent.


What I'm getting to is that while we'd all love to learn some new colloquialisms and I want to encourage the fun, please use some discretion for the members who might be hurt. You're a great group and no doubt will understand.

Sorry, I did not think this would be an issue.

 

[Sierra1]

Sorry, I did not think this would be an issue.

That's because you weren't trying to be malicious. Society has become SO sensitive. In some cases, it's warranted. Others are just unbelievable. Example: local news ran a segment about a tenant being told to take down his Texas flag because it offended other tenants. ??? Uh....you're living in Texas.

 

[Checkswrecks]

Sorry, I did not think this would be an issue.

Like Sierra1 said, you had no bad intent, so no worries and let's have fun with this.
::003::

 

[Arkyrider]

would screw up a wet dream

 

[bob dirt]

You'd even bitch if you got hung with a "new" rope

 

[snuffcityrider]

You don't have to lay on your back to screw up..

 

[Stridey]

In the Uk for many years we had a tv show called Catch Phrase which after researching the show on Wikipedia started in the US but didn’t run for long.
Here’s the link https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catchphrase_(UK_game_show)
I and millions in the Uk watched this most Saturday evenings and it’s all based on catch phrases!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Terminus]

OK. Good. I did not intend on offending anyone. Actually as a card carrying member of the idiots club, I think I have called myself quite a few of these phrases over the years. ::008::

One my uncle used all the time while referring to me was "half a bubble off plumb" I still use that one from time to time.

 

[WJBertrand]

I think of some of these as metaphors as much as colloquialisms. One on my favorites from a coworker who tends to get his metaphors messed up. He’d just made a major contract sale and related to me “you should have been there, I had them sink, line and hooker”.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

 

[snakebitten]

I miss the "sticks and stones can break.........but words will never" days.
But then, I miss John Wayne too. He represents an "era" for me.

Hand shakes instead of contracts.....that kind of thing.

I'll be dead soon enough. And then this fragile sissified tender world will be happier. And ME too! ::025::

By the way, John is my guest at dinner on the porch these days. (Yea, I'm learning to cook. I really have no choice unless I wanna live on Whataburger)

One quote of his that I always embrace is "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyways"

 

[Sierra1]

Another of his that's a favorite of mine. "Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid." ::012:: Wanna feel old....he'd be 110 years old if he was still with us. His passing doesn't seem THAT long ago. ???

 

[WrongLane]

Translation from Russian: Don't teach a father how to f*ck.

 

[Squibb]

I think of some of these as metaphors as much as colloquialisms. One on my favorites from a coworker who tends to get his metaphors messed up. He’d just made a major contract sale and related to me “you should have been there, I had them sink, line and hooker”.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

In the UK we know those as a Spoonerism ............... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism

Wiki provide a few of the originals from the Reverend - just google for other examples.

.................... KEN

 

[WJBertrand]

In the UK we know those as a Spoonerism ............... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism

Wiki provide a few of the originals from the Reverend - just google for other examples.

.................... KEN

::025:: ::025:: I'll have to remember that, but this colleague of mine doesn't stop at spoonerisms. Other ones I've heard him say:

"That's going to be a whole can of Pandora's boxes"
"Pretty soon before you know it, everything's in a downward sparrow"
"Don't count your lucky chickens"

The funny thing is he doesn't realize he's doing it and has no sense of humor when you catch him doing one.

 

[Dogdaze]

"As thick as two short planks"

 

[AVGeek]

I miss the "sticks and stones can break.........but words will never" days.
But then, I miss John Wayne too. He represents an "era" for me.

Hand shakes instead of contracts.....that kind of thing.

I'll be dead soon enough. And then this fragile sissified tender world will be happier. And ME too! ::025::

By the way, John is my guest at dinner on the porch these days. (Yea, I'm learning to cook. I really have no choice unless I wanna live on Whataburger)

One quote of his that I always embrace is "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyways"

A Duke quote my father is fond of: "If you can't show respect for your elders, I'll teach you respect for your betters!"

 

[hogmolly]

This kind of thing is great sport where I grew up in Oklahoma......and where I live in Texas

"not the brightest light on the porch"

"sometimes you just gotta feed the monkey and watch him shit"

"the older I get the better I was"

"all hat, no cattle"

"the bigger the truck, the smaller the cowboy"

"strong as an Ox and at least twice as smart"

I could go all night....